Emotions

How many times have we told ourselves that we want to be happy? How many times in a day do we brush off insignificant fusses and remind ourselves that it is not worth our time? How often do you wish to be happier than you are now, but just can't seem to find any reason to feel so?

I want to be happy. I thought I was happy. I thought, with a little :) everyday, I could leave behind every negative feeling that comes my way. I was convinced that I could at least make intimate friends of mine a little happier. Now naive I was.

I once believed that there is nothing better in this world than to be happy. To feel that every second of your life is worth living for. Well, I still believe that. Even so, I sometimes feel that this perspective is rather unrealistic. Who doesn't want to be happy? Why doesn't everyone have a smile plastered on their faces and make the world a better place? It is because they are held back. Held back by their every day problems, their beliefs, their habits.

I am a cheerful person, but I can't always be that. I just want to be understood that I do have my worries, my frustrations. Yes, frustrated is how I'm feeling now. I cry to rid my sadness. I sleep my worries away. I'm not finding any solution to solve my problems. I admit this this one huge failure in my life. I used to think that emotions are something we can meddle with. We can be happy by thinking of happy thoughts, we can be otherwise by reminiscing bitter memories. However, I realised that we cannot control our emotions and just be the way we want to be. Perhaps it is just me. I have this cognition that sadness overpowers happiness when something we are affected (negatively) by something important to us or a significant person in our lives.

And Billy said to me yesterday, "The smile (of mine) is back". Yes. I'm feeling better now.